How Many People Does it Take to Give Miles a Bath? Answer: 4

Yesterday, Miles had his very first bath at home ever. Oh lordy lordy! This was a special bath, eventful even. Leonard (who is visiting on his way up to San Francisco) and I arrived at Lara's house at 10am. Miles was happily sleeping while Lara & Robert prepared the bathing area, also known as the kitchen. The scene was set, baby tub in place, towels, non-soapy soap, washcloths, everything.

We decided to disrobe him, while in the kitchen so that we could move him to the bath quickly. So we carefully place him in the dry tub on a nice towel, so its soft for his little bum. Robert and Lara are taking turns holding his hands and legs, so he does not scratch his face with his tiny sharp nails. Robert carefully adds a little water to the tub, starting with his feet only. Then, he poops. Just a little, but it is enough that we know we obviously have to change the towel and clean out the tub and try again.

So we take him out, and put a diaper underneath his bum but were still cleaning him off when suddenly... Lara says, "uh oh... he's not done". Just as I looked over, he SHOT OUT A STREAM of PROJECTILE POOP! It all happened in slow motion, brown liquid flying three feet through the air, Lara lunging backwards to almost avoid it. An outcry from me, Robert and Leonard who was busy filming the whole thing in Hi-def. HA! Yes, Miles we already have hefty blackmail material on you. You'd better be nice to mommy and daddy (& Leonard too).

Perhaps he wasn't ready for a bath.

I quickly said, "OKAY! We need to get a diaper on him fast, and make sure this passes completely (so-to-speak) before we put him in that tub." Sure enough, once I get the diaper on him and start walking into the other room, another fart/poop emerges from his bum. HA! Another tragedy diverted! We knew we had to wait this one out. After another 10 minutes or so, it seemed safe to go back in the water, literally. So again, Miles is brought to the kitchen and disrobed. So far, we've gone through two outfits, two diapers, and two big towels.

Second try, we take the diaper off again, and as we carefully clean him off to prepare for bath time, he PEES ALL OVER the same floor we just cleaned the poop off of! No joke. This kid is all about the bodily functions (and sleeping and eating - and that is about it right now). So once we replace yet another towel we get him in to the tub.

He does not seem terribly comfortable and there is a lot of crying that begins now. Lara seems like she is about to burst. Robert is calm, and laughing at the situation. They are both frantically trying to bathe him as fast as possible. They also have to remove the bandage from the circumcision that was preformed the day before. EEEK!!

So I go get the pacifier, they don't want to get into the habit of using that to keep him calm. Perhaps only for those, "special occasions" will they bring it out. Once the kid stops wailing, things get easier and he seems to take the whole process rather well. Lara bravely removes the bandage as Miles whimpers only mildly.

Finally, he's done, we dry him off and quickly put a diaper on him because of course, we've learned a lot today. First lesson, NEVER take the diaper off the kid for very long for he is liable to poop and pee all over everything. Second lesson, if you ever do have to remove the diaper for a period of time, calculate the possible trajectory of aforementioned bodily fluids, and make sure to stay out of that region all together.

After Miles is dry, he is happy and cute and we get to play with his clean hair and admire him again. His first bath was not the easiest one he will have, I am sure of that. I do hope he grows to like them, just like his Auntie Jenny. There are lots more photos in the flickr gallery of bath time, and the nursery I helped design too!