March 25, 2008
I am very proud to announce that Ryan and I are pregnant with our first child! I am 12.5 weeks along, due in early October. This pregnancy happened really quickly, first time trying to be exact. Ryan and I had planned on starting to try in January, just after my 30th Birthday. Our first attempt to conceive was a success, and we are so relieved that it was.
This pregnancy feels like a miracle, and the timing was perfect. We went to a specialist, and were expecting that because of some medical problems we might have to struggle to get pregnant. It might have been costly and emotionally draining, and I was preparing myself for a long challenging road. I'm so happy and relieved to know that I could get pregnant so easily.
It really puts me at ease about conceiving a second child sometime in my future. We definitely want more than one kid!
I totally felt different only a few days after I conceived. I got my first wave of nausea only 4 days after conception. Also, I my tummy felt different inside... At the time I described my stomach having "a mind of its own." Heh, how true that turned out to be. Not that a brain had even formed yet... but you get the idea.
My friend Krista said that shortly after she conceived her son Everett, that she felt like "something was going to fall out of her" and I did keep that in mind when waiting to see the outcome of our efforts. It wasn't exactly like that for me, but not too far from it either. It felt more like I was holding something inside me, in the dead center of my lower abdomen.
The days were going by so slowly, and I was so anxious to be able to start taking pregnancy tests. I purposefully started earlier than I knew I should, so that perhaps I could time how far after implantation I was. The tests measure HCG, which is supposed to double every 24 hours. I had done research via PeeOnAStick.com to find out which tests were best and how sensitive they were at measuring HCG.
The first test was only 10 days past ovulation (10 dpo) and it was negative. The very next day on 11 dpo, January 25th, at about 8:45pm I tested myself again and was so elated to see a tiny faint line forming. I stood there in the bathroom, staring at the test, wide eyed. Having not properly prepared myself for this experience, I totally started balling. I could hardly breathe—I was crying and then I ran into Ryan's office, who was already concerned by this point. I held the test and I just wrapped my arms around him and cried so hard for a whole minute, while he just held me in confusion, asking... are you pregnant? and I couldn't reply. I just cried!
He looked at the test in his dark office, but couldn't see the little line. So I brought him into the bathroom and showed a negative test from yesterday compared to today's test! He looked at both and said, "Yeah, I kinda see a line." He was so calm about it! My heart was racing so fast and I basically danced around the living room and only a few minutes later I went over to my sister's house to share with her the good news.
It's nice to finally share the news with everyone. I have learned throughout this past 3 months that I am not good at withholding information about something so vital to my being. If I have ever seemed to be avoiding anyone, or just not reaching out to friends during this time period, it's only because I knew I'd have no power to resist telling everyone. We wanted to be cautious. Miscarriage occurs in 25% of pregnancies... that's 1 in 4! Given my egg situation, we knew we wanted to be on the cautious side about sharing our news. Plus, to be honest... I don't think I've been quick to accept that this is really happening. I've been a typical newly pregnant woman, trying to protect myself with doubt. Telling myself that it might not work out and that I needed to be strong, and even a little detached about it. I didn't succeed with the detachment part, but I tried anyway.
Now the gloves are off, and I'm fully embracing this pregnancy. Believing that it is real, that it is here to stay. This gives me joy every single day.
I am so thankful, and I feel so lucky.
I am so happy we are pregnant.
Common pregnancy announcement FAQ:
When is my due date?
Do you want to know the sex of the baby?
Yes, we both decided we would like to know ahead. We can find out after 19 weeks.
How are you feeling? Did you get morning sickness?
I'm feeling great! Thanks for asking. I did get some morning sickness for a few weeks, luckily there was no puking involved and the hours were moderately predictable. I just felt queasy mostly. I think that may be over for now. We'll see how it goes. I am definitely tired a lot, napping is good. I lay low most evenings and try to be in bed by 10pm.
Are you having any cravings?
Yes, but they seem to change constantly. So far I have no habits in that regard. I just know what I want... like right now I know that everything sounds gross to me, but a cheese plate. I haven't yet craved a cheese plate. Yesterday it was sushi. Today for lunch it was Chinese soup. The only consistent thing about my cravings and food aversions is that they are constantly changing. What sounds good to me today will sound gross tomorrow. The fact that I ate anchovies in my first 5 weeks now gives me the shivers. Yet, hours after I wrote this last line, I went out and bought some anchovies and made a cesar salad. The basic idea is, whatever sounds good now, will sound gross in a few hours. Sadly, that means that leftovers are usually out of the question. So far, salad does not offend me the second time around. Sojourner Cafe food is also reliable in that department.
I am really enjoying this pregnancy so far, even the sickness was reassuring. Apparently morning sickness level often directly correlates to the viability of a pregnancy. More sickness, more likely to survive. I guess it has to do with all of the hormones. More hormones usually suggest healthy progress. Though, plenty of times women just don't get sick at all and have perfectly healthy pregnancies.
I feel so grateful that I am able to be in Santa Barbara, near my parents and sister, so we can all share in this expanding of the family together. My sister Lara's two kids will surely be good playmates and "cool older kids" to look up to. I'm really looking forward to having time off to be with my kid, and spend more time with the family in the process. Life is short and these are the things i have always wanted to do. Its why we're in Santa Barbara now, we planned this out! I only wish that our Gantz family members were closer too. I don't know what the future will bring in that department... but I hope that they visit a lot and that we have the means to spend stretches of time back east with them too.
I am so looking forward to meeting our kid ;)