I did something I wasn't expecting. I washed my washer... sounds redundant right? It had some dog hair and dust leftover from the previous cycle that included dog washing towels and bathroom mats. I'm handling a bag of clothes that will be the first think our kid touches. I want them to be as clean as possible. I've heard about new mother cleanliness and I figured it would strike in increasing waves of seriousness. So the latest example, washing the washer. Baby clothes old and new are making their way into the clean washer, getting organized early puts me at ease.

Sorting and folding baby clothes is pretty fun. When they are clean and folded they go into huge zip lock bags and wait for the baby to arrive and fill them. Over 25 pairs of tiny adorable socks are together in pairs (not for long I'm sure) in the top drawer, next to Robeez and bibs. I'm getting ready.

Physically I'm doing well, and feeling great most of the time. Occasionally I get really tired and my feet have started hurting a bit, but its not too bad. Luckily I've been without back pain for over a week now. I am hoping that holds out. The weather has been humid lately and so I'm spending a lot of time by the air conditioner when I'm at home.

The family has grown again with the addition of a new golden retriever puppy (yet to be named). She is adorable and fluffy and pretty mellow. Alfie got to meet her for the first time on Sunday and they got along well. He got her to chase him around for hours. Chloe (our 9 year old golden) is not taking to the new pup so immediately, which is sad. She essentially ignores her. I think it is probably because of jealousy but I'm not sure...Its a good thing we have Alfie around to break up the social scene at the house. My mom gave Alfie a new title "Ambassador" since he seems good at getting all three of them to play together, even though Chloe is mostly directing her attention at Alfie. Given time I hope they will all become good friends.

Baby's Playlist (So far... suggestions?):

Yann Tiersen, Amelie Soundtrack

Jean Michelle Jarre, Equinoxe

Sigur Ròs, ( )

Peter Gabriel, Passion

Five days after conceiving I was riding my Vespa around town, touring the back hills of Montecito with my friend Amy Lacour. We were cruising the Castillo Blvd when I had a sudden head to toe wash of nausea go through me. It was the first time that I had proof that my body was going though something amazing. I count that as the first moment I knew I was pregnant.

As the weeks passed, the mild sensation grew less and less mild until I felt "huge" or like I had just eaten a large meal all the time. In mid April when I was 15 weeks along, I went to Amy & Courtney's wedding in Los Angeles and it was there, on the dance floor that I started to see what this whole pregnant belly feeling was shaping up to be. As I swayed and shook to the music I could feel my belly moving exactly like what it feels like when you shake an egg. The yolk was essentially bouncing off the shell.

Now, I'm officially popping out and I love it. My belly is full, and it responds to stimulation like music and me talking. The baby wakes up when I wake up to pee at the wee hours of the morning, and he kicks me as I drift back to sleep.

This is how I experience it, being pregnant essentially feels like you're getting fat.. but mainly in one place. When I rub my belly it feels mostly like me, but I can now tell that the kid inside there isn't me.. its a whole other person who I can feel when I push on it. I'm not just rubbing my stomach, or my liver... I'm rubbing a person inside me. This is pretty wild.

I've gotten into using our recently acquired Wii Fit to get some exercise, but mostly I enjoy the balance games and some mild aerobic activity. If you are considering getting a Wii fit, go for it. We love ours. I its kind of a cross between Brain Age and Wii Sports.

In the last week or so, I've been without my wii fit because Ryan and I are staying at my parents house while we get our hardwood floors refinished. We did the living room a year ago and finally had the determination to do the rest of the house. We had to move every single thing from the three rooms, guest/baby, bedroom, and office into the living room. It was no small task, and unfortunately because of my "condition" my ability to help was somewhat limited. Ryan did it almost all by himself, with help from our friend Warren for the big items.

We are really looking forward to being able to use this as an opportunity to not only go through the crap we keep and throw stuff out.. but just to have a clean slate is so nice. Especially when planning a baby's room. I love that the space will now appear more "finished" and that everything we put back in those rooms will be there with purpose. Anything we don't need to use or decorate with will be cataloged and put in storage. If we don't miss it by next year then its out of our lives.

June 5-8 Ryan and I went on our "last vacation" before baby and flew up to Portland, OR. We stayed at a nice hotel/spa, and relaxed while taking in the sights of Portland. We really like it up there. Not only is it green and lush, but the city is very cool, with old style charms, great public transport, a strong creative scene and most of all it is affordable! If we ever decide to move out of Santa Barbara, we'll have Portland at the top of our list.

Teresa got to feel the baby kicking at lunch today! She is the first person who got to feel him in action. He was kicking a bit and so I suggested she try to feel it and as soon as she put her hand on my belly he kicked really hard over and over again and calmed down about a minute later. It was intense! Its nice to finally start to be able to share this with others. Ryan has yet to feel him, but I think its because he kicks more frequently during the day when I'm sitting down and much less in the evening. Soon... !

Lately Craving: Sweets
Lately Reading: 25 ways to Simplify Your Life with Kids

He is in good health, with perfect blood test results. Size appropriate, and already looking cute with only 19 weeks in the womb... *sigh* this is really happening. wow. I think I'm still letting it all sink in. We're having a boy. We're having a baby! Life will never be the same, and I'm looking forward to it.

If thats underestimating, I'm now overestimating my ability to remember information. It has become clear, particularly at work, that I am no longer operating with the same clarity as I did before pregnancy. I forget important information, I flat out deny that I've ever heard information that I find out later I had... I learned I must doubt my usually iron clad memory. Man that sucks. Its all for a good cause and certainly, having ADD has taught me to adapt to having a brain that processes information differently. I'm just glad to know that it is probably temporary. I'm told I should get my old brain back not terribly long after this pregnancy is through. Cross your fingers for me!

I've been listening to our baby's heartbeat once every other night or so and it is definitely fun and always reassuring. I think because I can't feel the kid much yet it is an instant way to feel like I'm bonding with him/her.

Being pregnant is pretty fun. I am looking forward to a time when I am clearly undoubtedly pregnant looking though, I am still in that in-between phase. People check me out and must be having the thought but I'm just not quite big enough to risk making any comments. The only venue where that happened was at the maternity store and I already had a few items with me... :P

I think even though my hormones are going wild, I feel more even keeled as far as my mood is concerned. I know its because underneath all that is happening right now in life, I have a clear plan, a clear purpose, and a constant reminder that I am growing a life inside me and how freakin' cool that is. I've always looked forward to parenthood and now that I'm partnered with the most kick ass of husbands, I'm even more thrilled. Of course next week you can look forward to seeing a new video (I hope) and pictures and best of all, a sex! Oh Boy! (or girl)

I got the recipe from the internets and made my first batch, along with some fried chicken & garlic green beans. Ryan was over the moon, but I knew those biscuits could be improved. With some minor adjustments in mind, I modified the recipe from Paula and yesterday created my own "perfected" recipe. I am really pleased with how they turned out. I brought the batch over to my parents home for our usual Sunday dinner, along with a homemade lemon meringue pie.

Making biscuits is so easy and satisfying, and cheap too. Plus if you bring these over to a friends house for no good reason you'll earn some major brownie points (biscuit points?!). Enjoy.

Buttermilk Biscuits:
1 package yeast
1/2 cup lukewarm water
5 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1.5 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon baking powder
3 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup solid shortening chilled (recommended: Crisco)
2 tablespoons butter chilled
2 cups buttermilk

Honey Butter:
1 stick butter
1/3 cup honey
Melt butter slightly, or start with soft butter
Mix together, chill... and serve with warm biscuits

Biscuits: Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Dissolve yeast in warm water; set aside. Mix dry ingredients together. Cut in shortening & butter. Add yeast and buttermilk and mix well. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface and roll out to desired thickness. Cut with small biscuit cutter and place on greased baking sheet. Let biscuits settle for awhile, about 15 minutes before baking. Brush tops with melted butter (I add a dash of salt too). Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown. I check to see if they are golden in some areas and then I broil the tops to make them golden. The bottoms are usually done after 12 minutes.

I am very proud to announce that Ryan and I are pregnant with our first child! I am 12.5 weeks along, due in early October. This pregnancy happened really quickly, first time trying to be exact. Ryan and I had planned on starting to try in January, just after my 30th Birthday. Our first attempt to conceive was a success, and we are so relieved that it was.

This pregnancy feels like a miracle, and the timing was perfect. We went to a specialist, and were expecting that because of some medical problems we might have to struggle to get pregnant. It might have been costly and emotionally draining, and I was preparing myself for a long challenging road. I'm so happy and relieved to know that I could get pregnant so easily.

It really puts me at ease about conceiving a second child sometime in my future. We definitely want more than one kid!

I totally felt different only a few days after I conceived. I got my first wave of nausea only 4 days after conception. Also, I my tummy felt different inside... At the time I described my stomach having "a mind of its own." Heh, how true that turned out to be. Not that a brain had even formed yet... but you get the idea.

My friend Krista said that shortly after she conceived her son Everett, that she felt like "something was going to fall out of her" and I did keep that in mind when waiting to see the outcome of our efforts. It wasn't exactly like that for me, but not too far from it either. It felt more like I was holding something inside me, in the dead center of my lower abdomen.

The days were going by so slowly, and I was so anxious to be able to start taking pregnancy tests. I purposefully started earlier than I knew I should, so that perhaps I could time how far after implantation I was. The tests measure HCG, which is supposed to double every 24 hours. I had done research via PeeOnAStick.com to find out which tests were best and how sensitive they were at measuring HCG.

The first test was only 10 days past ovulation (10 dpo) and it was negative. The very next day on 11 dpo, January 25th, at about 8:45pm I tested myself again and was so elated to see a tiny faint line forming. I stood there in the bathroom, staring at the test, wide eyed. Having not properly prepared myself for this experience, I totally started balling. I could hardly breathe—I was crying and then I ran into Ryan's office, who was already concerned by this point. I held the test and I just wrapped my arms around him and cried so hard for a whole minute, while he just held me in confusion, asking... are you pregnant? and I couldn't reply. I just cried!

He looked at the test in his dark office, but couldn't see the little line. So I brought him into the bathroom and showed a negative test from yesterday compared to today's test! He looked at both and said, "Yeah, I kinda see a line." He was so calm about it! My heart was racing so fast and I basically danced around the living room and only a few minutes later I went over to my sister's house to share with her the good news.

It's nice to finally share the news with everyone. I have learned throughout this past 3 months that I am not good at withholding information about something so vital to my being. If I have ever seemed to be avoiding anyone, or just not reaching out to friends during this time period, it's only because I knew I'd have no power to resist telling everyone. We wanted to be cautious. Miscarriage occurs in 25% of pregnancies... that's 1 in 4! Given my egg situation, we knew we wanted to be on the cautious side about sharing our news. Plus, to be honest... I don't think I've been quick to accept that this is really happening. I've been a typical newly pregnant woman, trying to protect myself with doubt. Telling myself that it might not work out and that I needed to be strong, and even a little detached about it. I didn't succeed with the detachment part, but I tried anyway.

Now the gloves are off, and I'm fully embracing this pregnancy. Believing that it is real, that it is here to stay. This gives me joy every single day.

I am so thankful, and I feel so lucky.

I am so happy we are pregnant.

Common pregnancy announcement FAQ:

When is my due date?

October 7th

Do you want to know the sex of the baby?

Yes, we both decided we would like to know ahead. We can find out after 19 weeks.

How are you feeling? Did you get morning sickness?

I'm feeling great! Thanks for asking. I did get some morning sickness for a few weeks, luckily there was no puking involved and the hours were moderately predictable. I just felt queasy mostly. I think that may be over for now. We'll see how it goes. I am definitely tired a lot, napping is good. I lay low most evenings and try to be in bed by 10pm.

Are you having any cravings?

Yes, but they seem to change constantly. So far I have no habits in that regard. I just know what I want... like right now I know that everything sounds gross to me, but a cheese plate. I haven't yet craved a cheese plate. Yesterday it was sushi. Today for lunch it was Chinese soup. The only consistent thing about my cravings and food aversions is that they are constantly changing. What sounds good to me today will sound gross tomorrow. The fact that I ate anchovies in my first 5 weeks now gives me the shivers. Yet, hours after I wrote this last line, I went out and bought some anchovies and made a cesar salad. The basic idea is, whatever sounds good now, will sound gross in a few hours. Sadly, that means that leftovers are usually out of the question. So far, salad does not offend me the second time around. Sojourner Cafe food is also reliable in that department.

I am really enjoying this pregnancy so far, even the sickness was reassuring. Apparently morning sickness level often directly correlates to the viability of a pregnancy. More sickness, more likely to survive. I guess it has to do with all of the hormones. More hormones usually suggest healthy progress. Though, plenty of times women just don't get sick at all and have perfectly healthy pregnancies.

I feel so grateful that I am able to be in Santa Barbara, near my parents and sister, so we can all share in this expanding of the family together. My sister Lara's two kids will surely be good playmates and "cool older kids" to look up to. I'm really looking forward to having time off to be with my kid, and spend more time with the family in the process. Life is short and these are the things i have always wanted to do. Its why we're in Santa Barbara now, we planned this out! I only wish that our Gantz family members were closer too. I don't know what the future will bring in that department... but I hope that they visit a lot and that we have the means to spend stretches of time back east with them too.

I am so looking forward to meeting our kid ;)

I need to give her a name. I need more ideas. She is the color of blood so I'm considering Sangria.

Last night we had the end of season Vesparados dinner and I took a few photos. I am also doing a redesign of the vesparados.com website. I am hoping to get that launched by the end of the month.

Enjoy this: The 48 Laws of Power

I'm safe, with my leather jacket with full body armor and a serious Nolan helmet. I was very shy on the road at first, but now I'm comfortable... which worried me at first. I get a thrill out of riding, and I might have gotten a rep already as a speed demon. This isn't really me though, my favorite way to ride is safe and smooth. Every now and then I haul ass but I think it is because I am still stretching out my legs. I can feel myself becoming a better rider every day.

I'm hooked, and now I want an upgrade. I'm trading in my 150 LX for a limited edition Vintage Red GTS 250 i.e. I am very excited for the switch because not only will the bike fit me better in size and color, but I will be getting the bike that I wanted in the first place, but wasn't willing to pay for without knowing how it was going to fit into my life. Having never had a vespa/scooter/motorcycle ever before, I wasn't (and Ryan wasn't) sure how much of my enthusiasm was perhaps a passing or un-applied affection. Now that I know how much I love this, I'm going all in.

Plus, I think I might deserve it. Life has dealt me some drama lately and I'm weathering the storms pretty well I think. I've got support from my friends and family and I love being reminded of what really matters, and who my friends are. My friends are awesome, they stick by me and they love me to pieces. The feeling is mutual.

On the itunes in heavy rotation is Peter Bjorn & John with Writer's Block it fits the mood lately.

It was a big day, when we were at Zodo's bowling alley he got his first marriage proposal from his friend Etta. She is 4, he has a crush on her. Lara urged him to say yes, but he might have been too busy eating his cake to notice!

Its about frickin' time.

Its not even 9am and my day has already been made.